Giant Jaffa Cake for a 35 year old

When I asked Liam what kind of birthday cake he wanted, he decided that a giant jaffa cake was the only way forward for a boy of his advanced years. In the true spirit of experimentation I decided to give it a go. I've lost my notes so I'm writing this from memory - hopefully the amounts aren't too far off.
For the sponge:

• 110g butter
• 110g caster sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 110g self raising flour

For the jelly:

• 1 packet orange jelly (I used Hartleys which equals 135g of jelly cubes)
• 100ml orange juice

Topping:

• 1 bar of dark chocolate

Firstly, make up the jelly by chopping the cubes into a microwwave safe jug, and add the orange juice. Microwave on full until the jelly has melted, then stir well.  Fortunately I had a perfectly sized plate with a sunken area the size of my cake tin.With the benefit of hindsight I will offer the following advice: put clingfilm onto the plate before you pour on the jelly to set. Getting mine off after was nearly impossible!

I used Delia's Victoria Sponge recipe, but for some reason I am rubbish and it ended up denser than hers: Delia's makes two pieces to sandwich together, mine only made one! So, follow her instructions for the sponge. If you are better cook than me, you'll end up with an extra spare cake!

Once the cake has cooled, peel off the jelly and add to the top. Then, heat the chocolate in a double boiler, let cool slightly but not harden, then pour over the cake. I haven't put an amount as I clearly used way too much with about 190g. One 100g bar would probably do it.

Let the chocolate harden in the fridge, then try not to eat it all at once.

Cheesy fun

I'm getting into cheesemaking again. I'm easing myself back in gradually by starting with paneer. Totally easy to make and great to cook with.

Ingredients
4 pints full fat millk
4 tbsp lemon juice or 1 tsp citric acid dissolved in a little water (approx 1/4 cup)
Spices of your choice

1. Bring the milk to a rolling boil, stirring regularly
2. When foamy,  add the lemon/citric acid, turn down the heat and, and cook for 10-15 seconds
3. Continue to stir off the heat until the curds and whey separate, then leave for about 10 minutes to set
4. Ladle the curds into a muslin and keep aside the whey.
5. Rinse the curds under warm water then leave to drain. I add the spices at this point, then put a weight on top of the tied muslin to help consolidate it all.
6. After a couple of hours it's ready to eat.

I've found it's ace if you coat it in smoked paprika then fry it up with some bacon in a tomatoey sauce. Either that or go classic with curry. The whey you can either use in place of water in breadmaking, or I keep it in the fridge and add it instead of water to pasta sauces, etc. It gives it an every so slightly creamy edge. It lasts in a fridge as long as your milk normally does.

I used citric acid to precipitate this one, and added black pepper. You can see I didn't really pay much attention and the spice isn't exactly evenly spread. Citric acid can be pretty hard to get hold of, as people think you are going to cut it with heroin, but some places are ok. Barnitt's in York is where I get mine. They clearly don't care if housewives are addicted to class A drugs.

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Middle-aged post alert

Spring means a vague attempt by me to grow some veg. I'm fairly black-thumbed so it's always a miracle when I manage anything edible at all. It's not going so badly so far though.

Plum tomato and gherkin seedlings in my mini-windowsill greenhouse.

Orange bell pepper and fuego chilis. I've forgotten which plants are which though...

My chilis and sweet peppers from last year are miraculously still going strong, and flowering already, despite a hefty pruning whereby I chopped about 4 feet off the top.

My heavily-pruned cherry tree blossoming in the yard. Last year it produced the grand total of one cherry at mum and dad's house whilst they were tree-sitting, which was promptly stolen by a bird. I'm hoping for at least two this year.

 

 

Taters just planted out at the front, plus other bits and bobs.

Only half of my sugar snap peas have germinated thus far...

I *think* these are carrots.

My courgettes haven't died yet. There's still time.

Wild strawberry plant (back) I stole back from my yarden in Birmingham, plus a new normal one (front) donated by Mother Goodchild, my source for all things seedy.

So, fingers crossed for a bountiful summer. If I manage to eat any of it I reckon I'm on to a winner.

Unobtainable furniture

I was watching Upstairs Downstairs tonight. It's fairly rubbish - embarrassingly so at times - but I fell in love with this kitchen cupboard. I love it, I want it, I'm never likely to ever source one though or, if I did, be able to afford it. A girl can dream.

Baggergate overhaul no. 1

So, we've been in our new house on 'the-street-formerly-known-as-Baggergate' since November, and things are finally starting to take shape. Going unfurnished has meant lots of trips to the fabulous Community Furnite Store, abusing the kindness of family, buying unwanted furniture from departing friends, and an unhealthy Pinterest obsession with house decor.

My favourite achievement so far is our shelves: a sure sign of my impending middle age. The premise was simple. Buy some plywood shelves and cover the undersides and front with wallpaper. Turned out after some digging that someone had (unsurprisingly) already thought of this.

Problem number one: I got back from the timber merchants to find a tonne of real wood shelves from the 1960s in the skip at work. Consider some of them dutifully salvaged (with permission!). Fortunately for my sanity, they weren't long enough for the alcove we wanted, so the original plan went ahead.

Problem number two: I am rubbish at putting up shelves and the struts are too close together. Ho hum. They've not fallen down yet!

And finally...

Last night was my very first appearance on television in a local regional news programme on BBC. The slot didn't disappoint, with atmospheric music, helicopter shots of sweeping landscapes, re-enactors in a bloody battle scene, and moody midnight shots in a graveyard.

It's a shame that we didn't manage to get our results done in time for the finished piece. It's a bigger shame that I didn't get my roots done before filming, and that my overriding feeling coming away from it was "why can't York University afford any chairs?".**



** In all seriousness, the filmaker did a lovely job, and it was a fun project to work on. We'll be writing it up soon!


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My job is weird because...

...today I am x-raying joints of pig that have been bludgeoned by replicas of Egyptian weapons (daggers, axes, maces).

What I have learned is that even meat that is only a few days old can permeate your nostrils in an unpleasant way that you'd not thought possible. Barbecues are not top of my list right now.